piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
