All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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