Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
