i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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