When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
should my penis look like a turkey
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
