So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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