at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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