just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
