I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
