i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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