Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
