Small penises have feelings too.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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