Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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