my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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