She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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