Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
