So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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