i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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