you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
