in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
