When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
