I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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