just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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