were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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