I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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