idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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