I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
