Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
