so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
