distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
