Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
