I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
