DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
