Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
