i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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