you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
