i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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