I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
