i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
