I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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