I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
