there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
