How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
