Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it penis luge time yet?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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