She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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