I wish I could punch you in the face.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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