We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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