we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
