I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
