He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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