Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
