I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
