So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
