none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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