Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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