i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
