my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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