Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
