You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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