I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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