so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
