That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
