First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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