I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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