Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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