CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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