Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
